New Page, New Start

Blank
Oh, my mind is blank,
It’s like an empty tank,
drained by this day,
But tomorrow’s a new day.

I open up my journal,
today’s entry is infernal,
this day, it kind of stank,
but tomorrow’s page is blank!

Blank

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Orderly, Eh?

So todays daily prompt word is “Orderly”.  I’ve never written a post in response to a daily prompt, but since I just wrote a blog on the use of “I” vs. “you”- Language- You vs. I – the idea of order kind of caught my fancy.  See, a lot of my life has not gone according to what many would consider to be good order.  Maybe even disorderly would be a better way to describe a lot of my life.  Now, to be fair, most of the disorder wasn’t created by me, nor would I wish it on anyone.

However, when I own the disorder in my past, I give my life a chance to gain order.  Blaming others for the disorder only helps me to wallow in self pity, whereas owning the fact that this happened, enables me to ponder- now how can I turn the lemons into lemonade, the disorder into order.  I think the disorder from my past has made me a stronger person, and now I can enjoy a more orderly life.

Cheers, Y’all
Orderly

Language- You vs. I

Ah, the power of words.  I, as a graduate of the Hoffman Process, had the use of “I” drilled into me again and again.  I might not be a quick learner, but I do learn.

Huh?  What am I talking about?

Let me explain.  If I am talking abaout the effects of childhood abuse on the brain, I could say “when you have been abused, you tend to have a hard time understanding love”.  But when I say “I was abused, and therefore I have had a hard time understanding love”, and own my own experience, it makes a personal connection with what I am saying.  And isn’t that personal connection what I need most of all?  In order to move from “Post Traumatic Stress” to what Theo Fleury calls “Post Traumatic Growth”,  I need to own where I have been.  I have been through a lot, and I’d like to think I have owned it.

But was that mean in each of our own daily lives?  Well, the same thing can be said for these two statements, both referring to a mistake by one member of a team, as I like to think of my workplace as a team.  “HE forgot the cost of those extra parts” vs. “WE forgot the cost of those extra parts”.  See how easy it is for me to blame some one else for the mistake, versus taking ownership of it as a team, and sharing the blame?  Which way of dealing with my co-workers or children- yes, this can be applied to family life as well- is likely to get a greater positive result going forward?

Just my random OCD musing about grammar, making it onto the web this time instead of just floating around my head.

God Bless Y’all, and may love fill each of OUR lives.

Random Musings on Commitment

Random musings? how does that even fit into the same sentence as commitment?  I mean there’s nothing random about commitment is there?  Probably not, but musing on a lot of different aspects of commitment today.

First, there’s the frustration that my Clematis can’t seem to commit to climbing the trellis it’s supposed to climb.  I mean that’s what a Clematis is supposed to do isn’t it?  Just climb already!  why do I have to keep tying you up to the trellis?  But maybe it’s about me not being committed enough to have cut away last year’s growth so that the new growth this year would have easy access to the trellis.  But hey, I’m new at this cultivation of Clematis thing.  How was I supposed to know that it wouldn’t climb last year’s growth?  I guess I just have to commit to tying it up!

And then there’s the weather.  I wish the forecasters and the weather could just commit to being on the same page.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that this past weekend we finally got the rain that was in the forecast.  maybe not quite as much as they were suggesting we might get, but still, a nice shot.  Not sure if that makes up for the last three weeks of frustration about getting told to expect rain and getting tiny showers instead.  That’s OK, we love what we got!  Very thankfull!

And then there’s the commitment to pessimism.  I work with farmers, and they have a bad rap for being pessimistic, but does the weather network really have to fuel that pessimism by telling us that we are in for a doozy of a drought this summer?  Ironically, this beef goes along with the last one.  The weather network says we will have a record drought, while their forecast for the next 10 days calls for showers nearly every other day- really?

On a more serious note, I’m beefing about myself.  How come, when I’m lonely, aching for a hug, do I get afraid of potential relationships?  I know I’ve been burned before, but really, freezing up at the concept of a date?  That’s taking it a little far.  Time to open up my toolbox and work on some fears and coping skills, I suppose.

And then there’s commitment to self improvement.  I know I need to work on forgiveness of myself and others.  I know I need to stop a bad habit or two.  I know I need to start a good habit or two- working out wouldn’t be that bad, would it?  Ah, motivation and commitment, I’d love to get to know the two of you a little better!

Truly trying to see commitment as not necesarily a bad word, I remain the man that I am,

Duey 🙂