Language- You vs. I

Ah, the power of words.  I, as a graduate of the Hoffman Process, had the use of “I” drilled into me again and again.  I might not be a quick learner, but I do learn.

Huh?  What am I talking about?

Let me explain.  If I am talking abaout the effects of childhood abuse on the brain, I could say “when you have been abused, you tend to have a hard time understanding love”.  But when I say “I was abused, and therefore I have had a hard time understanding love”, and own my own experience, it makes a personal connection with what I am saying.  And isn’t that personal connection what I need most of all?  In order to move from “Post Traumatic Stress” to what Theo Fleury calls “Post Traumatic Growth”,  I need to own where I have been.  I have been through a lot, and I’d like to think I have owned it.

But was that mean in each of our own daily lives?  Well, the same thing can be said for these two statements, both referring to a mistake by one member of a team, as I like to think of my workplace as a team.  “HE forgot the cost of those extra parts” vs. “WE forgot the cost of those extra parts”.  See how easy it is for me to blame some one else for the mistake, versus taking ownership of it as a team, and sharing the blame?  Which way of dealing with my co-workers or children- yes, this can be applied to family life as well- is likely to get a greater positive result going forward?

Just my random OCD musing about grammar, making it onto the web this time instead of just floating around my head.

God Bless Y’all, and may love fill each of OUR lives.

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