Too Old to Die Young

“If life is like a candle bright, death must be the wind”

Today, just like yesterday, life has me puzzled.  More specifically, death has me puzzled.  I received a phone call yesterday morning that my cousin Henry had lost his wife the night before due to an apparent blood clot.  Suddenly.  In an instant.  Gone.  Henry went from a happily married father to a widower- father of five motherless children, the youngest of whom is just one month old.  Wow.

Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t close- the loss didn’t strike close to home that way.  In a family of over a hundred cousins, I know very few of them well.  In fact I don’t know if I’d ever even met Evaline.  But the news rocked me from the perspective of the potentially sudden nature of the end of life.

So as I’m sitting here this evening with my girls in their beds, I’m reminded of one of my all time favourite songs.  This song was recorded my Moe Bandy (possibly by other artists through the years, but Moe Bandy’s is the version I have rolling through my head tonight).

Too Old To Die Young

If life is like a candle bright, death must be the wind
You can close your window tight, but it still comes rolling in
So I will climb the highest hill and watch the rising sun
And I pray that I don’t feel the chill till I’m too old to die young

Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Oh Lord don’t let that cold wind blow till I’m too old to die young

Now I have had some dear sweet friends I thought would never die
Now the only thing that’s left of them is the teardrops in my eyes
If I could have one wish today and know it would be done
Well I would stay everyone could stay till they’re too old to die young

Let me watch my children grow to see what they become
Oh Lord don’t let that cold wind blow till I’m too old to die young

Songwriters- Welch/Dooley/Hadley

Look this song up on youtube or ITunes or whatever your favourite service is, and as you listen to it, just try not to feel it, I dare you! Though probably not recorded as such, today this song is my prayer for me and you, whoever you might be reading these words.

God bless you!
Duey

 

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After a Mixed up 2016-Hopeful

via Daily Prompt: Hopeful

Wow- What a ride!

As I sit here thinking back over this past trip around the sun, one word sums it up- Wow!  This was certainly an interesting year.

It started off with the finalization of my divorce in January, which anyone who has been there can understand was a very bittersweet milestone.  If you haven’t been there- Thank God!  I won’t delve into all that. One great side benefit of the divorce was being able to spend time hanging out with my kids and my family, knowing that my time with them is now a legal right.  One negative of the divorce was a very tight year financially.  I guess I better get used to that.  In the words of an old country song- “She got the gold mine, I got the shaft”.  Well, not that bad, but definitely a new financial reality.

As the world mourned the passing of one famous person after another this year, I have to ask myself if anyone of their lives mean any more than any other human life.  I know they all had an influence on our world, not always for the good in my opinion.  But to be utterly pragmatic about it, does the death of a musical legend (for example) whom we really haven’t heard anything new from in a long time, really affect us?

Having said that, Man I love old music!  Largely from people who are no longer with us.  This year I really reconnected with my love for old country music.  Watched “The Highwaymen” live from Nassau Colliseum a couple times on PBS.  Sat on my couch and listened to the classic country channel on my cable and memories flooded back of old stuff I used to hear as a kid.  Ok, Ok, that cost me a lot of money on iTunes, but man, I love this old music.

Also had a chance to listen to some fantastic, young, country acts as well.  The passing of the old guard doesn’t mean the end of music.  Saw a guy named Shane Chisholm play a 15 minute tribute to the Man in Black- on a stand up Bass he had built himself.  Out of gas tank from a minivan!!

Moving on from music, I watched my eldest daughter move more firmly into the teen years.  Fourteen already!  Man, I must be getting old.  And the youngest turned eight.  What an awesome blessing it is to have three beautiful daughters who are so sweet, and to get to enjoy time with them.  I am blessed!

I am truly grateful to live in a country with such good health care.  I watched my dad go through a health scare when we all thought he’d had a heart attack.  Doesn’t appear that that’s what it was, we are still waiting for answers, but I’m hopeful it’s all OK.  I watched a good friend, a shining light to all around her, go through surgeries, chemo, and more surgery.  To watch her attitude through it all was awesome.  Thank you Glenna!

On a less important note, it was another good year at work, though it ends with me pondering a potential career change at some point in the future and having been approached about a couple different opportunities.  And I know I need a job, and enjoy mine, but this is really not the most important part of my life.

And now, as we all prepare to enter a new year- 2017!  Already?!?!  I’m Hopeful…  I’m hopeful that all goes as well this year as it did last year- maybe even better!

I pray for each of you that you will be richly blessed with Health, Happiness, and all you need to live a life that blesses others.

God Bless!

Duey

Thankful

Canadian Thanksgiving

On this 2016 Canadian Thanksgiving day I am sitting here, watching the snow accumulate, pondering my life.  So here goes-

I am grateful for a warm house to sit in and watch the snow pile up.

I am grateful that I don’t live in the Canada that comedians like to poke fun at.  I don’t travel by dogsled.  I don’t live in an igloo.  Snow this time of year, while not uncommon, is the exception rather than the rule for most Canadians.  including for my part of Canada.  We should be melted off and 16 degrees Celsius later this week.

I am so incredibly grateful for my three beautiful daughters.  They light up my life.  A few minutes ago the oldest poked me on Facebook.  so we chatted for a couple minutes.

I am grateful for my kids’ mom- my ex-wife.  While I often like to complain about her, I am grateful for the good times we had, for the three daughters she gave me, and for how well she takes care of them now.

I am grateful for my immediate and extended family.  My parents who are both in their sixties, and reasonably healthy.  My brothers and sisters, who all get along with each other, and all the nieces and nephews.  That extended family is so large that I don’t know most of their names if I meet them, but I guess that’s what happens when one’s grandparents have 16 kids, right?

I am grateful to be Canadian.  Living in a land which gives me the freedom to express myself without fear of consequences for my opinions.  Living in a land with good health care.

I am grateful for a good job that keeps me challenged and rewards me well for doing my job.  In that vein, I am grateful for the customers who support me, and the relationships that I have been able to build up with customers across western Canada.

Above all, I am grateful to God, who makes all of this possible, and offers eternal life to all who will believe in him.

And with this partial list of the blessings in my life ready for me to hit the “publish” button, I wish you all a fantastic day!  Now it’s time to go eat a Thanksgiving meal with my family.

Such Sweet Mistakes

Sweet Mistakes, Such Sweet Mistakesmistake.

As a divorced dad, there’s people who ask what I’d do different if I could do it over.  They suggest that having married my kids’ mom was a mistake.  And maybe in a lot of ways it was.  But, Oh, what a sweet mistake.  Because of that “mistake” I have three beautiful, sweet daughters that I love deeply and I know they love me too.  Besides that, there was a lot of good to that marriage, and never minding the things that ended it, I try to remember with pleasure the good that came from that “mistake”.

But, let’s set me aside for a couple minutes here.  I’m sure all of my readers know somebody who was born as a “mistake”, right?  I mean, some people say they were a “surprise”, or an “accident”, but we all know what that means- their mom made a mistake, and had a child.  What a sweet punishment for having a mistake, right?  I’m not seeking to minimize the hardships of unplanned pregnancy, or single motherhood, or any of those things.  We all know that is an incredibly tough row to hoe.  But who can hold a baby, then watch them grow, and call that precious life a “mistake”?

I’d love to hear it if you think I’m nuts…that would just be another mistake to lear from, eh?

Duane

 

via Daily Prompt: Mistake

To Love Again

Learning to Love (and Live) Again

We met cautiously, online
Then for a glass or two of wine
There was an unspoken, mutual hope
That we could more than cope

There’s been, for both, heartbreak and pain
Perhaps we can break that miserable chain
Maybe together we’ll learn
And find that for which all yearn

Two souls with mutual trust
Past loves have all gone bust
But all beings crave to be
One of two, loving tenderly

Oh, so slowly, softly, day by day
Learning, trusting, till some day
We may, side by side, partners be
One flesh, one mind, loving tenderly

Wishing love for you all,
Duane

 

via Daily Prompt: Learning

The Youth in Me.

Only “as old as I act”? Or is it “as old as I feel”?

I prefer “As YOUNG as I wanna be”!

I’m too young for questions that complicated. Ya right!  But I did have a lot of fun hanging out with my kids this week, and not acting my age.  I guess to someone in their fifty’s,  in forty is the prime of youth anyway, right?  It was a lot of fun to go on amusement park rides that my logical mind told me I’d have to be insane to do.  It’s a lot easier to keep up to a seven year old who’s not fond of crazy rides than it is to keep up to a thirteen year old who thinks “the crazier, the better”.

Go out, and celebrate your youth, in whatever way you can, with whatever youth you have in your heart!

Cheers,

Duane

via Daily Prompt: Youth

It was so good…but…

I’ve been on holidays for a week. Well, I guess this is the eighth day away from work now and I don’t go back till Monday morning😊

And what an awesome week. I’ve hung out with my kids for most of it. Amusement park. Museums. Swimming pools. And food. Lots of delicious food- some of it cooked at home out of my own garden, and some of it prepared by others for us when we were on the road. 

Even with my seven year old having a flu for a couple days and the eleven year old fighting a cold the last couple days, it’s been an awesome week. 

But now…  I sit hear feeling sorry for myself as the girls watch tv, knowing that tomorrow morning they go back to their mom. It’s like having my heart ripped out knowing it’ll be a couple weeks before I see them again. And so I sit, trying to get my feelings under control so I can enjoy the rest of this vacation. 

Divorce sucks. I pray that those of you who’ve never been through that never have to either. 

Brain drugs

Drugs???

No, not the kind I could put into my body. I’m talking about the kind of natural chemicals that my body produces to help me deal with stress, reward me when I’m satisfied, and keep me balanced. GABA, Dopamine, Cortisol, Oxytocin, etc. I’m in the middle of a book “Converstions with a Rattlesnake” about healing from trauma and addictions, and the last chapter I read was a rather overwhelming exploration of how these different chemicals, produced by the human body, interact with each other to affect my mental health and emotional well being.

It fascinates me to see some of the science behind the awesome high that can be had from human interaction. Simply gazing into the eyes of someone who cares about me can flood me with oxytocin. How much more, then, the rush from an embrace, or my favorite- “heart-to-heart” as taught in the Hoffman process.

I wonder, though, how much of what I need could be fullfilled by self love? As a single, divorced dad who doesn’t get to see his kids enough, can I love myself enough to fill the void of human interaction?

I know that there is a relatively intense satisfaction in writing in my gratitude journal. I also know that getting into meaningful, caring conversation online, like here on WordPress can do something for my well being. There’s so much to learn, I’d love to hear about others’ perspectives on this.

Love you all,

Duane

As Smooth as Tennessee Whiskey

Smooth

Ah, the relativity of it all
One loves it, but it can cause another’s fall

“This whiskey is so smooth”, they say
And I enjoyed a sip yesterday

Like all good things, moderation
Is the key, or this libation

Could be a nasty master indeed
As could a little rolled up weed

And when my life is going smooth
And I’m not looking for a soothe

I do enjoy a glass of something smooth.
Duey

Smooth

Written as a response to today’s daily prompt of “smooth”. When I read the word, Chris Stapleton’s voice singing “Tennessee Whiskey” popped into my head. And I know whiskey doen’t taste smooth to everyone, but it is a pleasure I enjoy.

Cheers y’all!

Duey